Oily goodness

As you can see, I am not dead. Hurrah for that. Going through these situations makes one appreciate how much life has to offer. How short it is. How one must strive to enjoy it because it's not here forever or some hideous illness could come along and make it painful and difficult. I just feel so different about so many things. I could go into great deal and write thousands and thousands of words but I have still got dodgey vision. Very dodgey. That's my only problem now, though. It was a benign astrocytoma if you want to look that up. The other thing they thought it could be was a cancerous oligodendroglioma. Look that up if you want to see why I was a little concerned. They also got rid of the cyst that was pressing on my brain so my eyes should slowly recover. I have felt like death all week but every day I feel more human again. I'm going to be a new, improved me. I'll let the thousands of words come out over the next couple of weeks. That'll be fun reading for you.



It wasn't that bad, all in all. My head ached like a bastard, to put it ineloquently. Let me tell you now, you've never had a headache. Nothing like a headache. We're talk about someone from Black and Decker popping over and testing their new range of tools on your head. I could feel the nerve in every tooth screaming for mercy, or morphine, which thankfully was forthcoming. The downside to that was that the morphine gave me weird hallcinations which have not yet gone away. I was lying on the ward watching blond, elfin children beckoning me to follow them and reading strange elvish language written on the walls. They've almost gone. I won't miss them, beautiful and serene
as they were.



I've had some sort of huge emotinal releasse. After ten years of being dead inside after Painful First Heartbreak and then the last four months dealing with the brain tumour debacle, or not dealing with it, I have spent most of the last two days crying. Not in a bad way. It's high time. I've got lots of catching up to do.



I made some muffins yesterday, which for some reason came out covered in a layer of oil. I thought it was strange to put sunflower oil in cakes, but it was in the recipe. I'll leave it out next time. Continuing on the grease theme, I haven't been able to wash my hair for ten days. I will be able to tomorrow, when the gaping hole in the back of my head will no longer be there. Soak up the oily goodness.