Gay cliché

I'm a gay cliché. I have known this for some years, although I was reflecting upon this when I exclaimed in a tone of voice not unlike that of Lil' Jimmy Osmond at dinner last night that my lips were terribly chapped and I needed to borrow some lip balm.

Here's the thing. Where does it come from? Not being gay, but the associated gay characteristics alongside the obvious liking boys rather than girls thing.

I brought my LPs down from my parents' house a couple of months ago (showing my age here). There was a period of about three years when I was, say, aged 11-14 where I only had a record player and no CDs. I didn't have any money when I was 11-14, so had five albums during all of this time - my paper round didn't pay all that well. They are, in no particular order; Kylie's first album entitled Kylie Minogue, Love Hurts by Cher, Like a Prayer by Madonna, Madonna's first album just called Madonna and Boomania by Betty Boo. Not only that but the only other three albums I have acquired since are Results by Liza Minnelli, Barbra Streisand's Guilty and Shirley Bassey - Live at Carnegie Hall.

How gay is that? Very. Here is what puzzles me. Pop princesses like Cher, Britney and Madonna, gays love them all, but why? It would but easy to think that it's just some gay bandwagon that everyone jumps on because they're a bit cheesy, but it's not true. I didn't know I was a gay when I bought all of those albums and Kylie and Cher were not cheesy and gay in 1991. They were serious artists. Love Hurts was a serious rock album. I still like it. They must have some essential quality that appeals to gays. I mean, why do we love them? Even now I can remember every word of the rap from Success by Dannii Minoque. But I didn't tape it from my friend Felicity (my best friend at primary school was called Felicity, that's even gay in itself) because it was ironic. I did it because I loved it. It's not because everyone else liked them, I spent years sitting in my room listening to I Should be so Lucky on vinyl whilst everyone else had Pump up the Jam by Technotronic on cassette. Actually I had that too. Actually I've still got it.