Ponchos all round

I blinked at the weekend, and missed Bergen's Gay Pride march. Bergen is not conducive to such outdoor activities, it rains all the time. Some people are probably aroused by the thought of ranting, wet lesbians, but I can take them or leave them myself. Bergen is not particularly large and neither are its gay and lesbian residents particularly radical, relatively speaking, meaning that from the photos I saw, it looked rather more like a bus queue then some sort of resounding declaration of one's sexuality and the edge was rather taken off some of the leather hotpants and feather boas what with the inclement weather. Someone had given out those disposable water-resistant hooded ponchos that Americans wear when caught unawares by the British weather. Most unfortunate. I have never really felt the need to become involved in such things, although I certainly think they're very important. I, as you know, am not one to make sweeping generalisations or place too much emphasis on physical appearance, but really, why are radical gays always as ugly as sin? One has an image to protect.

The tourists have arrived in Bergen in the last couple of weeks. It is most bizarre seeing one's own countrymen almost as a foreigner sees them. The number of middle-aged British couples who wear identical waterproof jackets is terrifying. I can spot British people from 1oo paces and in Britain I can spot Norwegians at 200. I'm not sure what it is. Something about their facial expression. Bergen is absolutely chock full of Spaniards all summer long. It doesn't seem like an obvious choice, really. They certainly look cold and never have the appropriate clothing with them. It's water-resistant ponchos all round. They're all on cruises. Who, in their right mind, would go on a cruise? It's like Bognor Regis afloat. 1500 couples from the Midlands called Carol and Steve with matching waterproof jackets? I'd throw myself off the poop deck before you could say "Bon voyage".

My italics have stopped working. I can no longer communicate. This is major.

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